As times change, terminology changes. The vocabulary used by teachers are the terms given to them by the state dept. experts. It wasn’t meant to cause harm, but to appropriately explain Billy’s situation. But, just like recommendations for so many things have completely changed over the years, acceptable terms and approaches adjusted with the times. This process stresses the belief that words have the power to tear down and build up, and at every opportunity teachers should choose the latter. We must be sensitive to the connotations of the words we use both professionally and casually with the students.
I agree Mrs. Haney. When looking at those traditional IEP statement for the kids, they come off as more negative! The new way to state them was way more positive and I’m sure parents appreciate them being stated like that too.
The author says on p. 169, "The mentor's role is simply to provide an emotional space for Billy. The mentor is there to listen, ask inquisitive questions, help Billy process and express, and help him calm down and regulate." I feel like I try to create a positive classroom climate, but I am creating an emotional safe place for Billy when correcting student behavior? I tend to get too emotional when I hit my own breaking point. I need to work more on listening. Not waiting for my moment to teach a life lesson, but listen. Kids get "talked" to all the time! I am really learning the importance of just listening to them, so they know you think what they have to say is important.
You make a very good point Beth about students being "talked to" all the time. I, too, need to just listen to what they have to say. Sometimes that is all they need - to be able to express themselves and to feel like someone cared enough to listen and hear what they had to say.
I agree Beth. I have watched Karlene the last two years and have learned a lot from her about just listening to the student and not talking to them. There is a time and place where we do need to do the talking, but our students need to have a place to just be listened to without judgement and being talked to. I know sometimes I just need to vent. I don't want someone to fix my problems or tell me what I could have done differently, I just want them to listen. I can only imagine how some of our kids feel when they don't get that at home.
I like this too. In times past, I feel like I was just cutting students off when they were being disruptive or behaving badly when all they wanted to do perhaps was get something off their chest. A lot of our students aren’t allowed to express their feelings at home and need to get things off their chest. Who better to listen than their teachers that they see as much or more than their parents every day/week. We may be the only positive role model they see during the week, so, why should treat them like they are treated at home? We shouldn’t!
Agree! I have realized I talk or "lecture" too much when maybe all these Billys want is just to be heard, listened to. It makes me sad to think of how counterproductive I've been with students in the past.
I agree with all of these comments. I too tend to talk to the students more than listening. It's amazing thinking about how one small change- to listen more could make a huge difference in Billy's behavior.
I highlighted several areas of these chapters. One area focused on socialization. I know this is important for students to feel wanted and included in groups of their peers, but it was amazing to me just how much a child's lack of social skills could impact his/her day. On page 163 the author notes that "children with histories of rejection...live in a state of fear every moment of every day at school." I cannot imagine what this would be like. To live in constant fear of everything. There is no wonder students cannot focus on the lessons and skills being taught in class because they are just trying to figure out how to survive the day. Some students don't try to engage with their classmates because to them being alone is better than actually being rejected by their peers. This makes me appreciate the efforts of those students who have gone out of their way to include a student in a group even more than I did before. I can only hope that we can build on this "we are a family" mentality so that everyone can begin to feel included and supported.
Yes Mrs.Sherrie.. I thought about this too when reading! I didn’t realize that trauma could affect socialization so much. I think of some of our students and realize now why a few of them stay to themselves. So sad they fear rejection! I need to do a better job of socializing with them more.
I agree with Sherrie as well. Every student wants to be a part of something whether it is good, bad, or indifferent. It is our job to help them be apart of something positive so that it doesn't turn into something negative. We can do that by building that all important relationship with that student and figuring out what needs are not being met and try to help in that area.
A lot in chapter 11 stood out to me but the biggest thing was how connected a child's social relationships are to their success in all other areas. I, of course, knew that social relationships were important to children (and all of us too) but to see how deeply those social skills or lack of are connected to things like behavior and academic achievement was eye opening.
I thought Chapter 11 covered several important parts in helping teachers to understand why certain students struggle. What stood out the most was the teacher's role in allowing student's to have emotional space. There are ways to accomplish this so that the student is able to recover and regain control, but also so the teacher doesn't lose control of the entire class. I thought many of the strategies and questions could be beneficial down the road as a teacher.
One idea that stood out was that structured activity can make students feel as if they are in jail. In the classroom, we expect students to complete many structured activities. With the ELA department implementing book clubs and expecting students to read during structured times during class, I have experienced students having that “jailed” feeling. I agree with the points made in the book about not making the students feel forced into the activity. It really is all about the words we use and the attitude we have about the activity. Allowing the students to discuss or see some entertaining ending result in the activity gives them a voice and makes sure they don’t feel powerless while completing necessary classroom activities.
I agree with most of my colleges, I need to listen more. Chapter 11 summed up most of the book about relationships and listening to the child. If I take time to listen, I might not have to go any further.
All students want to be heard. I get caught up on what has to get accomplished and end up cutting the students short sometimes. I definitely need to focus on really listening to my students, especially Billy.
The list in chapter 11 about creating emotional space is very helpful for all of us and not just classroom teachers. Many of these things are what I learned while working on my school counselor degree. I do feel that we are very capable of doing these if we can just think it through and not react so quickly by saying something. Many times children will work and talk themselves through stuff with someone listening actively.
I really enjoyed reading about the tips for creating emotional space in chapter 11. There were several of those items listed that made sense to me, but I hadn't thought about before. Often when Billy is upset in class- I become so concerned about the disruption it might cause that I try to jump in a "fix" the issue. But the tip that said," allow the child to be upset without insisting the child stop being upset" makes perfect sense. Allowing him to feel what he feels validates his feelings which could make a big change in his behavior.
I too thought this same thing when reading chapter 11. I want to be able to "fix" the situation quickly so that we can all move on. However, that is not at all what Billy needs from me. It made so much sense. When I am upset about something - important or not - I just want someone to listen.
I also liked reading about creating an emotional space. I liked the conversation between Billy and a teacher on the page before. She was listening and let him speak his mind. He calmed down fairly quickly, but his opinion was also heard. I also thought it was important to know that Billy cannot think-he feels. So, traditional ways don't work on Billy such as stop and think. I also liked the chart associated with this, too. I like how it showed the traditional things we say/do with Billy's mindset. It makes it apparent why Billy cannot do those things we ask in the traditional view.
As times change, terminology changes. The vocabulary used by teachers are the terms given to them by the state dept. experts. It wasn’t meant to cause harm, but to appropriately explain Billy’s situation. But, just like recommendations for so many things have completely changed over the years, acceptable terms and approaches adjusted with the times. This process stresses the belief that words have the power to tear down and build up, and at every opportunity teachers should choose the latter. We must be sensitive to the connotations of the words we use both professionally and casually with the students.
ReplyDeleteI agree Mrs. Haney. When looking at those traditional IEP statement for the kids, they come off as more negative! The new way to state them was way more positive and I’m sure parents appreciate them being stated like that too.
ReplyDeleteThe author says on p. 169, "The mentor's role is simply to provide an emotional space for Billy. The mentor is there to listen, ask inquisitive questions, help Billy process and express, and help him calm down and regulate." I feel like I try to create a positive classroom climate, but I am creating an emotional safe place for Billy when correcting student behavior? I tend to get too emotional when I hit my own breaking point. I need to work more on listening. Not waiting for my moment to teach a life lesson, but listen. Kids get "talked" to all the time! I am really learning the importance of just listening to them, so they know you think what they have to say is important.
ReplyDeleteYou make a very good point Beth about students being "talked to" all the time. I, too, need to just listen to what they have to say. Sometimes that is all they need - to be able to express themselves and to feel like someone cared enough to listen and hear what they had to say.
DeleteI agree Beth. I have watched Karlene the last two years and have learned a lot from her about just listening to the student and not talking to them. There is a time and place where we do need to do the talking, but our students need to have a place to just be listened to without judgement and being talked to. I know sometimes I just need to vent. I don't want someone to fix my problems or tell me what I could have done differently, I just want them to listen. I can only imagine how some of our kids feel when they don't get that at home.
DeleteI like this too. In times past, I feel like I was just cutting students off when they were being disruptive or behaving badly when all they wanted to do perhaps was get something off their chest. A lot of our students aren’t allowed to express their feelings at home and need to get things off their chest. Who better to listen than their teachers that they see as much or more than their parents every day/week. We may be the only positive role model they see during the week, so, why should treat them like they are treated at home? We shouldn’t!
DeleteAgree! I have realized I talk or "lecture" too much when maybe all these Billys want is just to be heard, listened to. It makes me sad to think of how counterproductive I've been with students in the past.
DeleteI agree with all of these comments. I too tend to talk to the students more than listening. It's amazing thinking about how one small change- to listen more could make a huge difference in Billy's behavior.
DeleteI highlighted several areas of these chapters. One area focused on socialization. I know this is important for students to feel wanted and included in groups of their peers, but it was amazing to me just how much a child's lack of social skills could impact his/her day. On page 163 the author notes that "children with histories of rejection...live in a state of fear every moment of every day at school." I cannot imagine what this would be like. To live in constant fear of everything. There is no wonder students cannot focus on the lessons and skills being taught in class because they are just trying to figure out how to survive the day.
ReplyDeleteSome students don't try to engage with their classmates because to them being alone is better than actually being rejected by their peers. This makes me appreciate the efforts of those students who have gone out of their way to include a student in a group even more than I did before. I can only hope that we can build on this "we are a family" mentality so that everyone can begin to feel included and supported.
Yes Mrs.Sherrie.. I thought about this too when reading! I didn’t realize that trauma could affect socialization so much. I think of some of our students and realize now why a few of them stay to themselves. So sad they fear rejection! I need to do a better job of socializing with them more.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Sherrie as well. Every student wants to be a part of something whether it is good, bad, or indifferent. It is our job to help them be apart of something positive so that it doesn't turn into something negative. We can do that by building that all important relationship with that student and figuring out what needs are not being met and try to help in that area.
ReplyDeleteA lot in chapter 11 stood out to me but the biggest thing was how connected a child's social relationships are to their success in all other areas. I, of course, knew that social relationships were important to children (and all of us too) but to see how deeply those social skills or lack of are connected to things like behavior and academic achievement was eye opening.
ReplyDeleteI thought Chapter 11 covered several important parts in helping teachers to understand why certain students struggle. What stood out the most was the teacher's role in allowing student's to have emotional space. There are ways to accomplish this so that the student is able to recover and regain control, but also so the teacher doesn't lose control of the entire class. I thought many of the strategies and questions could be beneficial down the road as a teacher.
ReplyDeleteOne idea that stood out was that structured activity can make students feel as if they are in jail. In the classroom, we expect students to complete many structured activities. With the ELA department implementing book clubs and expecting students to read during structured times during class, I have experienced students having that “jailed” feeling. I agree with the points made in the book about not making the students feel forced into the activity. It really is all about the words we use and the attitude we have about the activity. Allowing the students to discuss or see some entertaining ending result in the activity gives them a voice and makes sure they don’t feel powerless while completing necessary classroom activities.
ReplyDeleteI agree with most of my colleges, I need to listen more. Chapter 11 summed up most of the book about relationships and listening to the child. If I take time to listen, I might not have to go any further.
ReplyDeleteAll students want to be heard. I get caught up on what has to get accomplished and end up cutting the students short sometimes. I definitely need to focus on really listening to my students, especially Billy.
ReplyDeleteThe list in chapter 11 about creating emotional space is very helpful for all of us and not just classroom teachers. Many of these things are what I learned while working on my school counselor degree. I do feel that we are very capable of doing these if we can just think it through and not react so quickly by saying something. Many times children will work and talk themselves through stuff with someone listening actively.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading about the tips for creating emotional space in chapter 11. There were several of those items listed that made sense to me, but I hadn't thought about before. Often when Billy is upset in class- I become so concerned about the disruption it might cause that I try to jump in a "fix" the issue. But the tip that said," allow the child to be upset without insisting the child stop being upset" makes perfect sense. Allowing him to feel what he feels validates his feelings which could make a big change in his behavior.
ReplyDeleteI too thought this same thing when reading chapter 11. I want to be able to "fix" the situation quickly so that we can all move on. However, that is not at all what Billy needs from me. It made so much sense. When I am upset about something - important or not - I just want someone to listen.
DeleteI also liked reading about creating an emotional space. I liked the conversation between Billy and a teacher on the page before. She was listening and let him speak his mind. He calmed down fairly quickly, but his opinion was also heard. I also thought it was important to know that Billy cannot think-he feels. So, traditional ways don't work on Billy such as stop and think. I also liked the chart associated with this, too. I like how it showed the traditional things we say/do with Billy's mindset. It makes it apparent why Billy cannot do those things we ask in the traditional view.
ReplyDelete