The above Table gives insight into how traditional social
skills techniques are taught to students compared to what is really going on in
students like Billy’s minds.
How does this comparison chart give you a greater
understanding of why some of your students respond the way they do &/OR
have you developed additional strategies that have effectively helped your
students who struggle with self-regulation and poor social skills? Share your
thoughts.
This table drives home a reoccurring theme in the book that Billy's perception is not always my reality. But it is very real for him. Before reading this book I would've said the column on the left was full of great strategies. But knowing now that because of Billy's mindset, he interprets those strategies completely different than the how the teacher intended them. Hopefully with relationship building and a lot of work, the teacher and Billy can get to a regulated state of safety to work on these critical social skills.
ReplyDeleteThis is always going to be an area that I struggle in. I discipline and enforce the rules the same way I was raised. If you break the rules, you get punished. I understand that we as teachers have to evolve somewhat, but I'll go back to my argument on most of these questions, is society going to provide the same safety net for the Billys when they lose their job, attack innocent people for asking the wrong question or when the store is our of toilet paper, etc. I think some change and adaptability is needed for running a classroom, but not at the level this book is recommending.
DeleteI agree with you, Paul. The real world is full of consequences. While we can do a better job of understanding where Billy's behavior is coming from and trying to regulate it using these strategies, he also needs to understand that there are consequences. Billy cannot be excused from all his behaviors simply because of the trauma of his past. I read the epilogue, and it states that in the end, the outcome comes down to the free will of the student.
DeleteI agree Amanda. Billy's perspective is not always my reality. Thinking about past situations, I definitely could have handled some things differently and been more understanding of another perspective.
DeleteAmanda I agree that I would have thought the same thing before reading this book. I too would have looked at the left column and thought they were good strategies. This book has helped me to realize that Billy's perception is his reality whether it is mine or not. This will help me look at situations and conflicts with Billy differently.
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ReplyDeleteThere so many Billy's in our school. That react differently, at times makes it difficulty for a teacher to response they way they should while teaching a group of 15 or more students. I understand Billy's mindset and its easier for a teacher in a inclusion class to address a situation right as it happen because you have two adults. With My Billy it took me a while to build a relationship with him. At times it was very difficulty and took a long time for him to be regulated. Where i could teach him how to play and socialize.
ReplyDeleteIt is extremely hard for a lot of us old school teachers to give in to behavior that is unacceptable by any child. I do think we must teach all the Billy's in the world to make better decisions and react in a healthier way. I do not think all children are the same but I do think too much is accepted by educators to avoid trouble with parents and outside advocates. One of my biggest concerns is the other children in the classroom and what are they missing due to the attention given to all the Billy's. It is definitely an issue which is becoming more and more problematic.
ReplyDeleteI thought this table was very interesting. It gives a very clear representation of why some students react the way they do. It's sad to me to think that Billy cannot ask for help because he does not trust any adult in his life. I think this chart still comes back to the fact that Billy needs to hear to change his reality. Once he begins to be heard, he can begin to trust adults. Later it can lead to Billy becoming successful is his social and academic life. He just needs that chance.
ReplyDeleteYou are right! Billy can't ask for help because of lack of trust. He may not know or have the tools to ask for help. Many of his action are sub-conscience. Because this is so "normal" for him he may not realize he needs or wants help.
DeleteIt's interesting to know what is going on inside Billy's head. Because he operates differently due to his stressful home life, he has different emotional needs that need to be met. The traditional things do not resonate with him because his life is not traditional. This does not mean that the actions or words that were shown or heard are okay, but this is where we can step him and begin to make him feel safe and help his emotional health.
ReplyDeleteI am an Andy. Because of this, I had never really thought about how my techniques to help calm the situation could be perceived by Billy. I think I am offering Billy ways "out" but in reality I am not listening.
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