Table 12.1 on page
178 in Help for Billy summarizes all the concepts from the
previous chapters in a concise comparative chart.
Take a look at the
statements above. Determine which statement you agree with completely and share
your thoughts on why that statement resonates with you.
The author’s theory goes all of the way back to decisions made by the mother when the child was in utero. Whether the choices were proactive or reactive this, and every child, was developed on every level one decision at a time. A virtuous proactive approach would have been to his benefit from the beginning. So now, we must try to help Billy where he is. It is a monumental responsibility and task given to everyone who touches his life. We should to use our knowledge of his strengths and deficits to give thought in advance to opportunities of regulation and the deepening of his stress tolerance.
ReplyDeleteThe statement that stands out to me is “develop relationships instead of using rewards for motivation”. After reading this book, thinking about my childhood, and now as a teacher I think it is very important to have a strong teacher student relationship. As an adult now I don’t remember the awards I received but I do remember my favorite teachers and those were the ones I had the best relationship with.
ReplyDeleteDeveloping strong relationships instead of using rewards for motivation is the statement that stands out the most to me. Motivation is a key element for a student’s success in learning. The author has stated numerous times the importance of building relationships with our student’s and the positive impact it can have on our student’s success in learning. These relationships can lead to building more confidence in our students which will also lead to them believing in themselves and their academic performance. This confidence will lead to more success which will be an intrinsic motivator for the student. The problem with extrinsic motivators is it can lead students to expect something in return when they make a good grade or make a good decision.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree that extrinsic motivation if teaching kids that they only need to perform if something is in it for them. This is an area that I must greatly improve on! I'm going to focus more using my relationships to engage them more without all the prizes.
DeleteDeveloping strong relationships instead of using rewards for motivation resonated with me the most. I stated back in an earlier question that I am the queen of prizes of competition. While I always have recognized achievement and growth, I never realized the negative impact the reward system could have on a child like Billy. Instead of trying to bribe a student to work, I should pay more attention to what is driving the student's behavior. I can use that knowledge to build a better relationship. By constantly rewarding what is expected, I am aiding in creating the generation that constantly asks, "What its in it for me?" This has been eye opening for me.
ReplyDeleteThis has also been eye opening for me. It has made me look at behaviors and things in a new perspective.
DeleteI hope to use several of these ideas in the years to come, however developing strong relationships instead of using a rewards for motivation stood out to me the most.
ReplyDeleteI have always known relationships were important, but this book has really provided some ways to do this that I can implement. The other part of this that caught my attention was the "reward" part. For a while now, I have resisted using rewards, such as candy, in my classroom. That's not to say I don't use it, however it is pretty rare though. I just feel like students expect to get some type of reward for just doing what they are supposed to do in class. If a student does something that stands out then I may reward them with candy. I have noticed students who are more like "Andy" don't usually want a reward because they don't feel there is a reason for it. Back when we had the "punch cards" some students wouldn't even let you punch their card because they didn't think they did anything more than "do the right thing." I understand the flip side for someone like "Billy" is this may be the only positive part of his day, but maybe the relationships will become the big positive in his life that will do way more for him than a piece of candy that lasts five minutes.
Relationships is the key. If you can get a student to believe that you really care about them and they trust in what you are telling them you can get them to run through a wall for you.
ReplyDeleteI agree! I know as an adult if I know I can trust you and rely on you I will go the ends of the Earth to do what I can for you. I know our students feel the same way.
DeleteCompletely agree. If you can connect and bond with the student, they will work for you. More importantly, they know you care about them and will remember how you made them FEEL for the rest of their lives.
DeleteThis goes back to the old adage, “they don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.”
ReplyDeleteDeveloping a family so that every student plays an important role in the micro-community stood out to me the most. In SpEd, all too often my students are the ones that are made to feel left out or segregated. I feel as though as a school we made a huge step in doing this by creating the house system and I hope in years to come this will only strengthen the community feel of our school.
ReplyDeleteI like this one too. The school environment shouldn’t feel like a job. As parents, we have tasks, chores, “assignments” we give to our kids at home and they are more likely to do them if we have a good relationship and respect one another. Why not apply that to the classroom to get the most out of our 90 kids we see each day?
DeleteThe statement, “address a student's stress instead of his behavior,” really stands out to me. Sometimes students are behaving badly because they may be under a lot of stress outside or even inside of school. As a younger teacher, I wouldn’t have thought to look at what’s causing the behavior. Instead, I would have focused on the behavior itself. Now after having taught over 13 years and reading this book, it is more important to focus on what is causing the behavior when a student acts out. As teachers, we are told to “fake it until we make it.” There are days we come to work with stress or other things on our mind and do our best to put that aside so our classroom environment doesn’t reflect our own issues. A young student may not know how to do that. So, they bring their issues to school with them. Also, I’m sure my stress doesn’t compare to what some of these students are facing either: worrying about meals, a place to sleep, verbal/physical abuse, etc. Good relationships with your students can help during their stressful times and outbursts in the classroom.
ReplyDelete"Address the students stress instead of his/her behavior" is the one that stands out to me. However, I hope to use many of these strategies when addressing many of my students in the future. To focus on the process and build a relationship is much more important than the outcome. The "gift of love" is our only guarantee.
ReplyDeleteThe most important statement to me is that relational influence creates motivation. Some students do not respond to incentives because they are used to not getting them, and they expect to be left out of rewards. When a student knows you believe in them and can see that you are making an effort to help them, they will give more effort in anything. I have had students who can barely read go to the front of the class and give a presentation on their project because the class and I encouraged them and made them feel safe. I try to make my classroom a safe environment for all students because I expect them to show some creativity. It is hard to show your creative side because some find it embarrassing. I love to see students come out of their shell and share things with the class because they know they will be praised and accepted by their classmates. That is actually a reward for some because they may not get that when they aren’t at school.
ReplyDeleteRelationships creating motivation for students resonates with me as well. A very wise teacher told me long ago that students who won't work for themselves will work for a teacher they love. While I don't agree with everything in this book, I do know that I need to focus more on building stronger relationships.
Delete“Focus on the process not the outcome” is the statement that I agree with. I think that we all have an end in mind that we feel would be a success for that student. We know that they are not going to reach their goal immediately and there are going to be bumps in the road as we work toward positive outcomes. These bumps in the road are when we learn and provide the student with the tools necessary to move in a positive direction. This statement reminds me of a quote I heard from Inky Johnson saying it's not about the destination it's about the journey. The things we learn along the way are what we need to create the outcomes we desire.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely! 100%!
DeleteI like the statement about developing a "family focused classroom where every student is important." I know through years of coaching it was vital to my teams that every player felt important. Even those who were on the bench had an important role. The same should be true in my classroom. Treating every day like it is important and that each child's response is wanted.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the family focused classroom, too. This is what I tried to do with my class this year, and I feel like it worked well with my students. After we got to know each other and our routines, we began to work off of their strengths. I definitely felt like we had become a family focused classroom; I hope they did too!
DeleteThere are two statements above that I feel very strongly about but I will choose relationships. Again, the author tells throughout the book-relationships make all the difference with your students in and out of the classroom. If a student knows you love and care for them, they will work for you and produce good work. Rewards can not be expected each time you complete or do something correctly. I sometimes give candy when we are reviewing just to get some of the quieter students who do not like to volunteer answers or thoughts to get involved and participate, but this is not expected from the class. We know as adults when we have someone who believes in us and shows us they truly care about us--we will work or do for them, we do not expect a reward or to be acknowledged - we do because we know that this person has faith and believes in us. Our students are the same way-build a relationship and they will work.
ReplyDeleteI agree with, "Develop strong relationships instead of using rewards for motivation." This one stands out to me the most because in a good strong relationship, both parties do not want to let the other down. The students will do whatever they can to please the teacher. If they think the teacher is disappointed in them, that will hurt worse than a consequence. Also in a strong relationship, constructive criticism is better received. Students who trust and respect their teachers are able to handle correction better than those students who do not like or respect their teachers. The stronger the relationship, the less you have to say to get your message across.
ReplyDelete"Develop strong relationships instead of using rewards for motivation."
ReplyDeleteI used to like to think I was good at this one. It's easy to develop relationships with the Andys. However, when I had a room full of Billys last year, instead of being determined to develop those lasting relationships when it got hard, I fell back on "rewards". It didn't work. I hope to have a better mindset and be more prepared the next time I have a room full of Billys.