Reflect
on your classroom for a moment and think about the students you have had who
were like time bombs....the ones whom you never knew quite when they might go
off. What communication did you have with their parents and/or what did you
know about your students' histories and/or how will you approach these types of
students differently now that you know what you know?
As we have all said relationships with the student and direct contact with the parents in order to seek the help on ways to handle their child. I try my best to stay in contact with the parent and keep them on my side by asking them things they might use at home with their child that might benefit us here at school. This helps sometimes and sometimes not but is worth the effort. The next thing is continually try to build the relationship with the child by speaking with them throughout the day and just checking on them.
ReplyDeleteI like that you check in on them. I wish I had more time in the day to do that with houses. WWhen one of my house members have trouble, I wish I knew. It is along way to the eighth grade hall. We will get it figured out.
DeleteI had two time-bomb students this past year. I was given thorough background information on one (Billy), and no background on the other (Bob). From the beginning, when Billy or Bob would “behave badly.” I handled the situation for both students with empathy and care. After several issues with Bob, I had less empathy and did not handle his poor behavior the same way. Bob seemed like a "normal" student who just wanted to push the buttons of his peers and teachers. Bob refused to speak when I would take him aside and try to figure out why he was acting out. I spoke to his mother on several different occasions and she would say the right things which reinforced my perception of him being a "normal" student who was just behaving badly. It wasn't until the middle of the second 9-week grading period that I was informed of his background and home situation by another teacher. Part of me feels like I needlessly lost time with this student because of my lack of knowledge, that maybe I could have tried another avenue to reach Bob. Another part of me realizes that going forward I need to treat every student as though trauma is part of their history.
ReplyDeleteI, too, have had this happen and it still bothers me very much. I have been quick to label a student as being disruptive "for no reason". And you are exactly right, the best advice is to treat every student as if they have experienced trauma.
DeleteThanks for sharing your story of Billy and Bob! I agree, having background information on our students is vital! It can definitely change our perspective and give us insight! But I LOVE your last sentence; "treat every student as though trauma is a part of their history". Game changer.
DeleteI liked your comment that you realize going forward that you need to "treat every student as though trauma is part of their history." Whether or not this is true, if we can approach students this way - even if we are unsure of their actual background - it can only be a more positive way to interact with the students.
DeleteSadly, we are not always made aware of a student's background information. This, as you mentioned, caused you to lose a significant period of time with this student where things could have been different if you had only known some basic information.
I had a ticking time bomb in lunch duty and in class.. you never knew what would happen that day. Thinking about his history is def traumatic. He can be disrespectful and I would call him out in front of people and it would make it worse. So after a while I figured out I needed him to like me so I tried some one on one talks with him and he has been way better. So I agree with building a relationship can make their behavior better for ya.
ReplyDeleteSometimes you are in that neutral position where you can help us out. Thanks, I know you have talked many students down before sending them to me.
DeleteAgain, yes, the relationship is key. One strategy that I've implemented in my classroom management is being intentional with my parent contact. I try to make contact with and share positive interactions with the parents. This not only helps build the relationship with the parent so we can be a team but also gives the student a sense of pride when they find out I have called to brag on them. It also makes those hard conversations just a little bit easier. No parent only wants to hear that their child is being disruptive, even when they know it's true.
ReplyDeleteI agree that the relationship is key. Having a positive relationship and classroom environment is not going to keep "Billy" from having a blow up all the time, but it is going to allow the teacher to deescalate the situation. I need to do better at conferencing with parents. While we have many parents that won't admit there is a problem, we do have parents that would help us better understand their child. In my second year of teaching, I had a 5th grader that just became a massive problem around April. While this "Billy" had moments throughout the year, in the Spring I could not control him. I called his mom and found out that his dad had told him he could not come visit this summer because his girlfriends kids would be there. This 5th grade little boy was devastated. That one piece of information completely changed how I looked at his outbursts. He was hurting, he was emotional, and he just needed to know he was loved.
DeleteI agree that having a relationship with the individual child helps when dealing with outbursts. Does it stop it? Of course not, but it does allow there to be rational conversations after the outburst and over time the outbursts aren't as serious and less frequent.
DeleteI completely agree Amanda. As a parent I cannot like this comment enough. NO parent only wants to hear the negative about their child. Hearing positives along with the negatives can sometimes make it easier to handle the negatives. It also affects the child when all they hear is the negative coming from their teacher.
DeleteAmanda, your post makes me think of a speaker we had at the PIE conference. He was a principal that wanted to call home to parents (that his teachers sent to him) and tell them something good their child had done that week. One day, a teacher sent him a child that had remembered to bring a pencil to class. He said he trusted his teacher even though it seemed like a small accomplishment at the time. After he spoke with the child's mom, he realized how hard it had been at home for the both of them. In reality, her remembering to bring her pencil to class was actually a HUGE accomplishment. He said that the mom was in tears by the end of the conversation because someone had called to compliment her daughter. I think having those good conversations with parents helps your relationship with the student, too. This is such a good idea!
DeleteI have had a similar experience. I had my share of phone calls to the parent. The first couple of times I explained what happened, asked the parent if they could share anything that would help explain their child's behavior, and asked them to be my partner in helping their child. Then one day the student had a great day. They were focused, on task, and participating. I called the parent. She knew the number and answered with a sigh and asked what he did this time. I told her. She literally started crying. Through her sobs she told me that was the first time a teacher had ever called to say something good about her child.
DeleteThe Time bomb student. I communicated quite extensively with the parent and the advice given was minimal. I’ve witnessed huge tantrums if things didn’t go the child’s way and I’m still not sure that this child fits into the traumatic childhood mold. Up to this point in the school environment, this student has truly been a ticking and detonating time bomb. I believe every attempt has been made to placate this student and create a positive environment. My approach will be to further attempt to develop a positive relationship with the child and attempt to create an environment as free from “fuses” as I can.
ReplyDeleteAs I look at these comments we all can agree the relationship and the parental involvement is the most effective way to try and provide help for these types of students. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn't which should not prevent us from trying. But the hardest thing for me and I am guessing most teachers is at which point does the child have responsibility in this and how we can determine this? Because at some point these students will have to regulate themselves in society in order to be successful.
ReplyDeleteAmen. I understand our role as teachers is to educate these students, but at some point the students have to learn that they must take responsibility for their actions. No one comes from a perfect background or home life and so it is important for us as teachers to understand how best to help our students, but at the end of the day they are eventually going to be released into society and must function with all the highs and lows that come with that. Is their boss going to pull them aside for every outburst? Is the policeman going to talk softly to them as they write a ticket?
DeleteI've been trying to determine this very thing. I am preparing (I hope) these students for high school. How am I supposed to teach them algebra standards, social skills, communication skills, make meaningful relationships, etc. all in one hour per day? I desperately needed some "extra" or "new" tools in my toolkit with last years 8th graders and I just felt lost on how to reach them. Hopefully, this book can answer those questions in part 2.
DeleteThat is exactly my concern Coach. There are so many variables so many situations. We teach, we encourage, and we plan proactively. But that kid has got to try.
DeleteYes Coach George! I think MMS faculty are all very good at trying to reach out, help ,and love those students who are not so loveable at times but these students at some point have got to take responsibility for these behaviors. As Coach Carroll said-will employers allow this behavior and keep a job?
DeleteWhen dealing with time-bomb students it always helps to make a connection with them that goes outside of school. Being a coach helps in that I deal with many of these students all summer and I'm involved with a sport they generally want to participate in. This gives me an opportunity to speak with them outside of school about behavior, class work, etc. and helps to cut down on confrontational outburst. When I have dealt with time-bomb students that don't play sports, I still use the same method of removing them from the classroom when speaking to them about their behavior or attitude. I've always found that when getting on to the entire class, outburst aren't as common. When you single out a student is typically when you will have problems that become confrontational.
ReplyDeleteYes Coach Carroll, I have always admired the relationship of coaches and players. I, too was a cheerleader coach and that bond and relationship is very strong and your team usually has respect for you and does not want to disappoint. I see this with all of our MMS coaches--that bond that keeps them grounded . Keep up the good work building those relationships!
DeleteWhen dealing with the time-bomb student, I feel that it is very important to pick your battle. My favorite quote from college is fair is not always equal. This book suggests many times that you have to treat each student differently dependent on their case. I know with students I have had in the past that I have to over look being called a name that if my child or a student who isn't a time bomb called me, it would have been a bigger issue. Not to say there aren't still consequences, you just have to adjust according to the kid.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree because what works with one might not work for another. We have to adapt not only our consequences and punishments to fix behaviors, but we also have to adapt our teaching strategies to individual student needs.
DeleteIt is not always easy to deal with this type of student. I am learning that I can change myself to better deal with these students.
ReplyDeleteThere are times when I have to make a very conscious, deliberate effort to speak very calmly to the student. However, after reading the information in the book, I am learning that me trying to "rationally explain the situation to the student" is probably not very effective. I will need to approach this from a different perspective to be able to help the student calm down on their terms not through the use of my rational thinking. Just because explanations work for me, I am learning that rational explanations don't mean anything to students who have these behavioral issues.
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ReplyDeleteRelationship is still a key ingredient in reaching the "time bomb" student. We sometimes are given information ahead of the student arriving in our class, but even with all the information-it still does not always prepare us for what is going to take place in OUR classroom. Students react to teachers differently and we as teachers also have different methods of trying to reach students, which often is a wonderful thing! I have always thought developing a relationship with the students and showing them you care about them will help when the outburst or breakdown happens. Each child and each situation is different-that is why it is necessary that we get "to know" our students.
ReplyDeleteI agree Mistee. That is one of the reasons I am enjoying this new position. I have a little more time to build those relationships with students who are typically struggling in reading. The more I get to know them and show I care about them, the more willing they are to do their best.
DeleteThe students that I have had in the past with volatile behavior I think are approached somewhat differently. We as teachers like to keep things running smoothly and I think we should be making conscious efforts to keep from “setting off” these students. I feel if there is potential for issues collaborating with parents, teachers, administrators and other individuals who benefit the students behavior can be helpful to taking the right approach. The information in this book is a solid, common sense, approach to dealing with behavioral issues and helps reinforce the techniques we continue to use as we deal with students.
ReplyDeleteThis year, I had a student in my library every day that I never knew what his mood might be when he came in. He did enjoy coming to the library because it was a quiet place for him. I allowed him to sit by himself or beside his friend depending on how he felt. I do know this student's parents, but I don't always have the opportunity to call them. It was very important for this student to have a "routine." If this student got mad, it helped me to talk to him in a calm voice. I think it is very important to know everything that I can know about this student to help him succeed in class and to communicate with his peers and teachers.
ReplyDeleteIt seems that routine for most of the students that have issues is a foundational component. A large percentage of outburst or behavior issue stems from being off of a routine. As teachers, we like our routine and are thrown off when something throws a wrench into our schedule, so I definitely agree with you, Jill that routine is key and something we should look at in these situations.
DeleteApproaching “Billys” in the classroom needs to be approached like water and not gasoline to a fire. Everyone knows that if you get the slightest bit of gasoline near a fire, it will flare up or worse! If you understand what cause the ticking time bombs in class to “flare up” or “explode,” we as educators must do our part in trying to avoid the “gasoline” in those situations and look to douse it with water instead! Unfortunately there are those look to push the buttons or are so set in their ways that it may cause time bombs to ignite. We don’t need to be like this. There are too many others in a classroom setting that could be affected by our good or bad choices. But this can only be achieved if we build a relationship with the parents and the students like others have said on here.
ReplyDeleteCommunication is definitely key. It is important to know if students have been through some sort of trauma that has impacted them in a major way. Having this knowledge allows us to have some empathy and extend grace when things come to head in the classroom. What works for one teacher may not always work for another teacher though, it is based on relationships. Many teachers form bonds with different students, and that is ok. We may have different ways we connect with different students, but I did like what Kim said that we should treat every student as if trauma is part of their history. We don't really know what is going on with a student until we can dig a little deeper and get down to the issue.
ReplyDeleteIt has been helpful to know about the history of my students.The most helpful thing for me has been to have a close relationship with the students who tend to have outbursts most often. Most of these students have shared their past with me very openly because they often need that positive emotional support. When they know you are trying to understand them, it goes a long way when trying to deescalate a situation. As frustrating as it may be, it’s important to show them that you are emotionally supportive of them even if they are wrong.
ReplyDeleteSince I am not from McKenzie, the background and history of most of my students are not known to me. After talking with fellow teachers about issues, the connection between the home situation and the classroom issues become apparent. I definitely try my best to get to know my students, so that I can better understand when these issues come up or could arise. When I realize that I have a student that may be caring for multiple siblings when they are at home, I am better prepared that he may be sleepy, hungry, or just ready to explode. This information helps me understand and gauge how I need to approach the student.
ReplyDelete