What
are your successful strategies (or successful strategies you have observed from
co-workers) to keep yourself calm when a student starts to escalate?
My team is fantastic. I have on many occasions observed every one of them deescalate situations by using questions by which the student can then see the error of their ways (if necessary) and even own up to them. The first question is usually “ what happened?” which gives the student a voice. I believe the students trust that they have been treated fairly and respect the way the situations are handled.
You are exactly right when you say they "feel they have a voice" when they are given the opportunity to tell what happened from their perspective. I first let them tell me everything they feel I need to know, then I may ask them a question for clarification about a detail or I will repeat what they have told me and ask them "Am I understanding you correctly?" This gives them an opportunity to correct me if I interpret something wrong and they are getting the opportunity to hear the story as they told it. They also know I was listening to them because I was able to repeat what they told me.
I have also found that if the issue is with one student like "Billy" and one student like "Andy" that if I give "Billy" the opportunity to tell his story first, he is much calmer and seems more satisfied after giving me "his truth." I can only guess that if "Andy" goes first then "Billy" is left to feel like he is stuck defending himself instead of just freely telling me what happened.
I definitely agree that if we can give the student a voice( I know sometimes its difficult to do due to time restraints and other responsibilities), but if we give them that chance it usually can de-escalate a situation quicker and helps to build a relationship because the student feels heard and respected.
I agree with Mrs. Haney. We must give our students a voice, give them a chance to speak. Listen to what the student has to say and most of the time they will listen to you when you give them a response.
I guess it depends on the situation. If I feel like the students may be in danger, I would start to escort them away from the potential problem child. I remember some ticking time bombs in the past that would give you warning signs. Some would show it on their faces. Others would put their head down and become totally quiet. If I think it hasn’t gotten too far, I will try to go soothe the child or tell them something funny to lighten the mood. This is the point where it helps to have a good relationship so they will trust you more during stressful times.
I tend to do better keeping calm after I get to know the individual. Knowing what makes a child tick can help me understand the situation in a different way. Thinking back on several situations I have been a part of, upon retrospect, I could have handled them much better. That is alright with me. Its a learning experience and you tend to do better dealing with the student during the second encounter. In my opinion a loss is acceptable as long as you learn from the experience and improve from the loss.
Knowing what makes a child tick definitely dictates how you handle a situation.I agree that we don't always do it right and I think we as professionals do a good job reflecting and evaluating how we could have done differently. Live and Learn.
That’s a great point Ty. I tell my ball teams that losing should make you stronger, not weaker. We “lose” as educators at times when dealing with these students with so many personalities and characters. As our kids must be opened to learning, we must be willing as well when we have a teaching moment of our own. “Stay on your toes!” Every year it seems each entering class/grade has a few students with situations we’ve never faced before.
I have to consciously make an effort to remain calm and enter each situation with an open mind so that I can act to a situation rather than react. I can remember a gentleman that I worked with at Carroll Academy it did not matter to him if somebody was chewing gum or if they were getting ready to blow up the building(example of course) his demeanor never changed he always remained calm which helped de escalate any situation that he was faced with during the day. Of course it didn't hurt that this gentleman had like twenty something Black Belts in in Karate and the students knew he could turn them into a Pretzel at anytime if necessary(LOL).
Yes I agree Mrs. Haney. I have seen you and the other rotation teachers during our time together respond so well to students to try and help them calm down! Always start with come over here so you can get them by themselves away from other students.. and then the big question.. so tell me what happened? Giving them a voice is great even if you think they are in the wrong or not. Never talk to them with other kids around because then they will just argue back and forth and then the situation gets worse.
Again, I think this goes back to relationship. When you meet and greet your students at the beginning of the class, you know already the mood of your students. Each child and each situation may need to be handled differently. So knowing the child and what triggers him/her is very important. I have had students who need the soft talk and kind words to calm and diffuse the situation, some who need the mother figure to console and hug and make them feel loved. Others, who you know--DO NOT TALK to them at all, it only escalates the situation. Just let them diffuse on their own by getting somewhere alone and letting them cool off. It is all about knowing the child and their behaviors and what triggers those behaviors.
We are usually aware of students that may have problems where escalation begins to occur. We learn the signs of these students and we are usually prepared when things begin to escalate. Unfortunately, there is not a cookie cutter solution that will apply to all students. Some strategies that should be helpful in all situations are: knowing the students tendencies, letting the student have a voice, having knowledge of students current situations and definitely the ability to take a step back and remain calm.
I agree with Mrs. Haney and Coach Nelson - I think sometimes if you have a hard time talking to one student about a problem, it helps to have another teacher there. There have been times that Coach Toombs or Coach Nelson have talked with students with me. Maybe their relationship with that student was better than with me at the time. Sometimes it is also what the student likes....sometimes they like PE,computer or music better than the library.
The most important thing I have had to learn as a teacher is how to keep myself calm during a situation where a student’s behavior is escalating. Because students feed off our energy, getting upset and yelling will never cause the student to calm down. Even when I am very upset, I try to address the situation in a calm and direct voice because it not only saves my sanity, but shows the student that I don’t have to raise my voice or disrespect them to get my point across. I have also found that this really does serve as a model, and students are less likely to explode and yell disrespectful things back at me.
My team is fantastic. I have on many occasions observed every one of them deescalate situations by using questions by which the student can then see the error of their ways (if necessary) and even own up to them. The first question is usually “ what happened?” which gives the student a voice. I believe the students trust that they have been treated fairly and respect the way the situations are handled.
ReplyDeleteYou are exactly right when you say they "feel they have a voice" when they are given the opportunity to tell what happened from their perspective. I first let them tell me everything they feel I need to know, then I may ask them a question for clarification about a detail or I will repeat what they have told me and ask them "Am I understanding you correctly?" This gives them an opportunity to correct me if I interpret something wrong and they are getting the opportunity to hear the story as they told it. They also know I was listening to them because I was able to repeat what they told me.
DeleteI have also found that if the issue is with one student like "Billy" and one student like "Andy" that if I give "Billy" the opportunity to tell his story first, he is much calmer and seems more satisfied after giving me "his truth." I can only guess that if "Andy" goes first then "Billy" is left to feel like he is stuck defending himself instead of just freely telling me what happened.
I definitely agree that if we can give the student a voice( I know sometimes its difficult to do due to time restraints and other responsibilities), but if we give them that chance it usually can de-escalate a situation quicker and helps to build a relationship because the student feels heard and respected.
DeleteI agree with Mrs. Haney. We must give our students a voice, give them a chance to speak. Listen to what the student has to say and most of the time they will listen to you when you give them a response.
DeleteI guess it depends on the situation. If I feel like the students may be in danger, I would start to escort them away from the potential problem child. I remember some ticking time bombs in the past that would give you warning signs. Some would show it on their faces. Others would put their head down and become totally quiet. If I think it hasn’t gotten too far, I will try to go soothe the child or tell them something funny to lighten the mood. This is the point where it helps to have a good relationship so they will trust you more during stressful times.
ReplyDeleteI tend to do better keeping calm after I get to know the individual. Knowing what makes a child tick can help me understand the situation in a different way. Thinking back on several situations I have been a part of, upon retrospect, I could have handled them much better. That is alright with me. Its a learning experience and you tend to do better dealing with the student during the second encounter. In my opinion a loss is acceptable as long as you learn from the experience and improve from the loss.
ReplyDeleteKnowing what makes a child tick definitely dictates how you handle a situation.I agree that we don't always do it right and I think we as professionals do a good job reflecting and evaluating how we could have done differently. Live and Learn.
DeleteThat’s a great point Ty. I tell my ball teams that losing should make you stronger, not weaker. We “lose” as educators at times when dealing with these students with so many personalities and characters. As our kids must be opened to learning, we must be willing as well when we have a teaching moment of our own. “Stay on your toes!” Every year it seems each entering class/grade has a few students with situations we’ve never faced before.
ReplyDeleteI have to consciously make an effort to remain calm and enter each situation with an open mind so that I can act to a situation rather than react. I can remember a gentleman that I worked with at Carroll Academy it did not matter to him if somebody was chewing gum or if they were getting ready to blow up the building(example of course) his demeanor never changed he always remained calm which helped de escalate any situation that he was faced with during the day. Of course it didn't hurt that this gentleman had like twenty something Black Belts in in Karate and the students knew he could turn them into a Pretzel at anytime if necessary(LOL).
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYes I agree Mrs. Haney. I have seen you and the other rotation teachers during our time together respond so well to students to try and help them calm down! Always start with come over here so you can get them by themselves away from other students.. and then the big question.. so tell me what happened? Giving them a voice is great even if you think they are in the wrong or not. Never talk to them with other kids around because then they will just argue back and forth and then the situation gets worse.
ReplyDeleteAgain, I think this goes back to relationship. When you meet and greet your students at the beginning of the class, you know already the mood of your students. Each child and each situation may need to be handled differently. So knowing the child and what triggers him/her is very important. I have had students who need the soft talk and kind words to calm and diffuse the situation, some who need the mother figure to console and hug and make them feel loved. Others, who you know--DO NOT TALK to them at all, it only escalates the situation. Just let them diffuse on their own by getting somewhere alone and letting them cool off. It is all about knowing the child and their behaviors and what triggers those behaviors.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteWe are usually aware of students that may have problems where escalation begins to occur. We learn the signs of these students and we are usually prepared when things begin to escalate. Unfortunately, there is not a cookie cutter solution that will apply to all students. Some strategies that should be helpful in all situations are: knowing the students tendencies, letting the student have a voice, having knowledge of students current situations and definitely the ability to take a step back and remain calm.
I agree with Mrs. Haney and Coach Nelson - I think sometimes if you have a hard time talking to one student about a problem, it helps to have another teacher there. There have been times that Coach Toombs or Coach Nelson have talked with students with me. Maybe their relationship with that student was better than with me at the time. Sometimes it is also what the student likes....sometimes they like PE,computer or music better than the library.
ReplyDeleteThe most important thing I have had to learn as a teacher is how to keep myself calm during a situation where a student’s behavior is escalating. Because students feed off our energy, getting upset and yelling will never cause the student to calm down. Even when I am very upset, I try to address the situation in a calm and direct voice because it not only saves my sanity, but shows the student that I don’t have to raise my voice or disrespect them to get my point across. I have also found that this really does serve as a model, and students are less likely to explode and yell disrespectful things back at me.
ReplyDelete