Imagine that Billy comes into your classroom upset and distraught.
He is angry that the teacher in his class prior to yours gave him an
"F" on an assignment. Billy is making loud accusations about this
teacher being an "idiot" and that this teacher is just out to get him
for no reason. Billy slams his backpack down on the floor and kicks his desk.
You have a few minutes before
the bell rings, so imagine what you could do to help Billy calm down right now.
Your role is to become the safe base Billy needs to help him de-escalate and
avoid losing control.
Based on your reading, what
would be some effective ways you could address the situation?
After reading this book I would 1st let him know he is now in a safe and calm environment. I would ask him to take a couple deep breaths and then give him a chance to talk and explain his self. If he calmed down after that, then I would give him some tasks to do to get ready for class! That shows you trust him to do “teacher things”. If he didn’t calm down then I would see if he wanted to go talk with someone that he confides in at school or go do something he likes for a few mins to get back regulated.
ReplyDeleteI agree that he needs to take a minute to calm down. I am also learning that he made a minute to vent. We may need to let the student say what they want to say, instead of not allowing them talk. After they have had a chance to say what they feel like they need to, we can take the opportunity to use questions to redirect their thinking. Hopefully, a peaceful moment to enforce our relationship and repair any damage that may have been done prior. I am often too quick to say, "I don't want to hear it, sit down." I am big on no excuses and taking ownership, so I am going to be a better listener.
DeleteThe book has helped me realize that students need a moment to vent as you say Beth, however I would try to get them to come talk to me in the hallway and let them know that I will listen to whatever they need to say. However, I cannot let a student bad mouth a teacher in front of a whole class and do nothing about it. I will double my efforts to be supportive of their feelings, and after reading the book I know they don't need me to try to change their mind about how they feel at that moment and that's okay, but I won't let them trash a teacher in front of a room full of students and let those students feel like I condone that behavior.
DeleteJennifer, I love your suggestion of giving Billy a job to do as he finds his regulated state. You are right, it also builds trust and strengthens the student/teacher relationship.
DeleteI agree that allowing the student to vent is the most effective way of avoiding further issues for the moment. Often times when this has happened in my room in the past, I will ask the student to go to the restroom and calm down. If time allows I will meet them at the door before reentering and allow them to speak about what is bothering them. I also think it is important when the situation has deescalated, that you explain to the student that there is a right way and wrong way to handle your frustration. I think allowing a student to disrespect another teacher is only going to allow that student and others to think that this behavior okay.
DeleteI would calmly try to have a conversation with Billy and explain to him it is okay for him to feel upset and allow him time to explain his frustration to me. Hopefully allowing Billy this opportunity to voice his frustration would bring Billy back down to a regulated state.
ReplyDeleteRemain calm and see if you can get them to talk about the issue at hand. Listen to what they are saying and try to work on a soltion to the problem(ownership). Get them to understand you are not there to judge or fight with them but to help them.
ReplyDeleteI agree. Staying calm, allowing them a voice without judgement, and a safe place or activity to "re"-regulate are the key element of this process.
DeleteIf possible, I would ask the student if we could speak privately so that no one else hears their business(when in reality I don't think the others need to hear the student call another teacher an idiot). I would let the student vent without responding. Then I would ask them their opinion on how we could fix the situation, change the situation, or make sure it doesn't happen again. Only after the student is calm, had a chance to be heard, and feels confident we can make things better, I would remind them that no matter what is going on that calling names is not a solution and what words we could use instead.
ReplyDeleteI like what you said about letting the student vent without responding. Remembering that we don't always have to "fix" every behavior immediately is important.
DeleteThe book states that change can happen at later times, as well as a lesson can be learned later, but Billy needs to be heard first. Therefore, I think the student venting without responding is a great strategy. I also think moving to a more private area would be beneficial as well. I agree that others do not need to hear Billy call another teacher an idiot if it can be prevented-proactive rather than reactive.
DeleteI think the less attention of other classmates you can keep away from Billy the better. Pulling him aside casually, giving him a paper to express his thoughts, and keeping the other classmates outside the room for a minute are little things to defuse the situation. Hopefully he just needs to get a few things off his chest and then will calm down. If he continues to escalate and those things didn’t work, then asking the class to quietly to stay out of the room would be the safest thing to do. But hopefully Billy is telling me this because he feels he can express his thoughts with me which shows he trusts me, his teacher, and we have a good relationship with one another. If so, chances are he will listen to me better instead of continuing his outburst.
ReplyDeleteJoe, I forgot how this writing it down helps because not only does it buy me time, but sometime this deescalates the problem and the student down a little.This was in my bag of tricks that I had forgotten.
DeleteI would definitely try to be proactive by asking him to bring me something (any item) to the hall. This way he thinks he is helping me and we have a private setting. I then want to let Billy know he is safe with me. I ask him to tell me what happen or does he need to take a minuet. Sometimes writing it down helps. He tells me how the teacher is wrong, then I tell him how I know this may seem like what is happening but the teacher probably see it differently. Lastly we decide the importance of this issue and can we fix it. I always end with telling him I feel better now that he feels better and thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThat is a great way to get the student to the hallway without drawing attention from the other students. That also gives you a better opportunity to have a one on one conversation with Billy and allows him time to calm down.
DeleteI would remind Billy to breath and count to 10 and tell him its OK to be upset. When he is finish I would ask him to walk with me to the office. While walking to office I would listen to him vent. After which I would ask him to switch role with teacher and tell me how he would handle the situation. When he finish explaining I would then ask him if he would like me to response if he said yes I would talk him through it and remind him how someone feels if you call them names and suggest when he his ready we can talk to the teacher and figure something out.
ReplyDeleteI have had this situation occur several times in the past. I did allow the student to vent but then turned it back on the student. My response has always been that teachers don't give grades; students earn them. I have questioned them about their effort level on the assignment, whether they followed the rubric, etc. Then I have asked who the student should be upset with. This approach has seemed to work well, even with Billys. There have also been times when I didn't have the time to listen to them vent. I cut the student off and told them that I don't allow the badmouthing of teachers in my classroom. In those situations, the students stayed agitated longer.
ReplyDeleteTalk to Billy and try to calm him down. He is upset but not with us so this is a time that we must respond and not react. There is no need to continue the escalation into another class that has absolutely nothing to do with the outburst to begin with. We should take the time to understand why this behavior is occurring and talk with Billy to deescalate him so that he does not continue to blow up and cause distractions to others.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Coach Renfro with about responding but not reacting. This may be easier for some than others and it also depends on the situation.
ReplyDeleteI would allow him time to talk and vent about the situation that has upset him. As I was listening I would encourage him that he was in a safe place where he could talk about his feelings. I would make sure to respond and not react to his anger. I would encourage Billy to take some deep breaths to help him deescalate. I would then ask Billy to help me come up with some possible solutions for the conflict. And of course, none of this would be possible if I hadn't already built a positive relationship with Billy.
ReplyDeleteAgain, all about the relationship. If this happens, I would ask the student if they would like to come out of the classroom; remove the student from the rest of the class. Then ask if they would like to explain why they are so upset. As many before have said-it is all about listening. Many times the student does not want us to respond just listen to them. If there is a relationship between student and teacher, they will open up and express why they had the outburst. Usually with the deescalating time students voice how they should have behaved instead of the outburst. Just being an ear for them usually works.
ReplyDelete